Don Ruiz First Agreement

I wrote the post “Be Impeccable With Your Word” sensibly one year ago. It is fascinating that I found this same idea in other authors’ ramblings. That took me to write a new post about the subject. Here it is.

In my first post about the matter I wrote that one should lead by example – walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk.

In my prior studies on the subject of Coaching I found the importance of asking the right questions. This means that some questions will move you into the past, the guilt and the pursuit of a responsible different than yourself. Other questions will trigger you into action, moving you to the future and possibly, to anxiety.

But when we speak with someone, or even with ourselves, we should be careful with the questions we ask, the words we speak. We don’t have just the power to take people into the past or the future.

A word is like a seed. A seed we plant in our brain. A seed that will develop into a thought. This thought might grow into a belief, an assumption, an “holly truth” without any proof whatsoever.

This can be quite serious.

Back in 1920s, the word of a single man created fear and hope in an entire nation. Those beliefs, those thoughts impacted the entire World in a terrible war and the killing of millions of people. And the main gun was his words.

There is a sentence by Jim Rohn – “Stand guard on the door of your mind” – that help us remember that we should be careful with the food we feed our brain with. But you should include in the menu the words you speak to yourself, the silent monologue we all have.

Don Ruiz also states that one should not use word to speak against himself, but I would like to take it a little further and propose that one should not use word to speak against anyone or anything.

I do not mean for instance, that if you get an incorrect order on a dine you should not complain. Of course you should complain, you are paying for a service and the bare minimum is to get the correct plate. But, think about the words you will chose to use on your complain. Will your words be helpful for the waiter, or the cook, to be better on their jobs? Or will your words just serve to help downgrade the self esteem of those workers?

Remember, your word will say far more about yourself than about the other.

Again, we can take this a little further still.

Whenever we complain to a child using the verb “to be”, we may be planting a seed of rejection, of weak self-esteem in their brain. Probably you may find deeply in yourself some moment of your youth that triggered some belief that you still have today. Is this belief an enhancer or a castrator?

This is the power of a word spoken to a kid.

This is my current understanding of Don Ruiz’s first agreement. It looks deeper tenfold. What do you think ?

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